i’m almost asleep but i want to write about something significant and personal. the background: robin and i went to korpo to visit my parents and siblings. since it was my dad’s namesday i decided to surprise him by preparing a thai meal as well, for him and the rest.
i don’t prepare food very often, and for others even less, so they were definitely taken by surprise. by the end of the dinner, dad praised the food and thanked for the whole thing – and then said to me:
i’ve always known that when you really want, you can do anything.
he certainly meant it in the broadest of senses. then everybody applauded for the dinner i made.
words, sentences. i find these to come annoyingly close to negative self-praise (don’t brag!) and distortion of reality (am i really worth the praise, do i lye?). in any case, at the time i felt, i don’t know what to say but i know what i felt. i’ve said enough at the moment and will leave it at that.
meta matters: from time to time i think about what’s in my best interest to blog about and what’s not. this time i gave it some more thought. i decided that although what i just wrote is personal, it’s not private. and i doubt it can be held against me. yet still, there’s something i can’t put my finger on.